Joke of the day

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Re: Joke of the day

Post  slay3r on Mon Sep 05, 2011 2:01 pm

ZoD wrote:Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic.
So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.
The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. 'Ok Les give me the bottle opener, 'I didn't bring it' says Les. 'I thought you packed it'.
Mick gets worried, he turns to Alan, 'Did you bring the bottle opener?? Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener.

Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.

20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........

'I KNEW IT'......I'M NOT FU*kING GOING!!'

haha :DD
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Re: Joke of the day

Post  theone on Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:54 pm

Neighbors of each other:
"Buy your apartment window Venetian blinds."
"Why?"
"Since at least the others do not see how you have sex with a woman."
"But you better buy yourself a pair of binoculars!"
"Why"
"So u can see who's wife im fucking"w

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Re: Joke of the day

Post  HARDY on Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:34 pm

Mens english :-
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay (where is grim? Very Happy )


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Re: Joke of the day

Post  HARDY on Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:56 pm

1. The Optimist - "Ahh ..... Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

2. The Pessimist - "Ahh ..... Oh No, Oh No, Oh No ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

3. The Confused - "Ahh ..... Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

4. The Traveler - "Ahh ..... I'm coming, I'm coming ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

5. The Religious - "Ahh ..... Oh God, Oh God..... Aaahhh ..... !"

6. The Needy - "Ahh ..... More, More, More..... Aaahhh ..... !"

7. The Beggar - "Ahh ..... Please ..... Please ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

8. The Submariner - "Ahh ..... Ohhhh ..... Deeper ..... Go DEEPER..... Aaahhh ..... !"

9. The Sports woman - "Ahh ..... Faster ..... Faster ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

10. The Mimicry artist - "Ahh ..... Shhhhh ..... Hsssss ..... Shhhhh ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

11. The Dutiful Daughter - "Ahh ..... Oooh maaaa ..... Oooh maaaa ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

12. The Wrestler - "Ahh ..... Hold me tight ..... Rougher ..... Harder ..... Aaahhh ..... !"

13. The Murderer - "Ahh ..... I am going to cum ..... Ahh ..... If you cum before me, I'll kill you ..... Aaahhh ..... !


:ppPPPPPPPPPPppppppppppppppPPPPPPPPPPPPPPppppppppp
I love you

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Re: Joke of the day

Post  theone on Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:35 am

king kong is the king in the hong kong

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